By David Bozeman
One sign that you're obsolete - or just plain old - is complaining that food and candy today is just not as good as it was "back in my day."
Case in point: I found a favorite old candy at the Dollar Tree the other day. For those who don't know, Mary Janes are a beloved peanut butter/molasses treat, famous for its yellow wrapper and little girl in a dress. They have been a favorite for well over a hundred years. I was surprised, not having seen them in a while, so I grabbed a bag.
The words "Improved Recipe" should aways be a red flag. No longer oblong-shaped, they are now round like Tootsie rolls. And smaller. And not quite as good.
Must corporate America ruin everything we once treasured?
And don't blame my taste buds. Does anyone remember when 3 Musketeers came in a white wrapper?
So light, so fluffy - then came the silver wrapper sometime in the early 80s and - you guessed it - a new recipe. Chunkier and less fluffy, so I wrote to the M&M Mars Company. They responded that consumers sampled liked the new recipe and they offered me a coupon for a free bar. I eventually learned to like the new 3 Musketeers, but I still resent corporate America tainting our childhood memories and disappointing our tastebuds.
Remember when McDonald's restaurants were red and bright and welcoming to kids and families? Remember when Taco Bells look like actual tiny Mexican eateries? Today, most fast-food restaurants look gray, uniform and about as welcoming as your local DMV, catering almost exclusively to a hectic, app-centric, anonymous drive-thru culture. Exploring why that is requires more space than we have here. Let's just say that the Almighty Dollar couldn't care less about your childhood memories.
Yes, time does erode some of the joy from life. Penny candy is just not as exciting for a grown-up. Still, it is possible to miss something you've never had, i.e., vintage, lovingly made candy free of the snips and 'improvements' of high-level corporate know-it-alls. The banality of a cynical, bare-knuckled age will drive even the tenderest among us to find friendship and innocence in Tik Tok videos and other mindless, fleeting pastimes, so it's not just you. You're not obsolete, you just have good taste.
Comments welcome
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